We’ve all been hearing about the importance of self-care these past several years. And that’s a good thing. Everyone of us should take time for ourselves to ensure that we are mentally, emotionally, and physically well.
There is, however, one oft-repeated self-care advice that is “absolute garbage,” according to one mother from Texas. Amy Weatherly took it upon herself to write a lengthy post about why “you’re the only one who matters” is not a good self-care tip.
Amy Weatherly, a mom from Texas, said “you’re the only one who matters” is “absolute garbage.”
“If I hear one more phrase like ‘you’re the only one who matters, do it for you. Blah Blah Blah,’ I’m going to lose every ounce of chill in my body.
“That’s such an absolute garbage thing to say.
“Wanna know what’s wrong with the world? Crap like that.
“The word ‘self’ is at the beginning of almost every single buzz word right now, and it’s a problem.
“Self-care. Self-love. Fill your cup. Absolutely. Those things are essential to our well-being, our mental health, and our overall quality of life. But then get over yourself and pour a portion of what you’ve been given onto someone else who needs it.
“You aren’t the only one who matters. You can’t just run around and do whatever feels good regardless of other people’s feelings. You can’t just expect the sun to shine only for your sole satisfaction.
“Their feelings matter. Those people matter. Each and every one of them. They need some rays of sunlight too, and what a cool thing to have the opportunity to share some with them.
“We were created for community from the very beginning. We long for it. We hurt for it. Our souls are desperately crying out for it, and instead we are out there telling everyone that the secret to happiness is building an island, where you can be king/queen/lord/dictator/ruler-of-everything, where you don’t have to listen to anyone, where no one can get in your way, where you can’t be bothered by anyone.
“And then we can’t figure out why we’re so unhappy.
“We are unhappy because we’re lonely. We’re unhappy because we’re selfish. We’re unhappy because we push people away, we push people down, we push people around just to get what we want.
“Let me tell you something, you may make it to the mountaintop with that crummy attitude. The view may be breathtaking. The scenery may be beautiful. The paycheck may be huge. But it won’t mean that much if there’s no one there to hold your hand and share it with you.
“We need each other.
“We’re happiest when we’re helping.
“We’re most content when we’re contributing.
“Our legacy is not that we lived and died and didn’t do anything of value. Our legacy is that we cared. Our legacy is that we shared. Our legacy is that we built something to help others. Our legacy is that we left this world better than the way we found it.
“You’re important. You matter. You have a purpose, but you’re not the only one.”
Self-care doesn’t have to be selfish, according to Weatherly.
“Love God. Love others. That’s kind of the mission, and we’ve warped it into thinking we’ll be filled if we only love ourselves. It doesn’t work that way, buddy. We keep trying for some unknown reason, but seriously, it doesn’t work that way.
“It’s great to be loved, but it’s so much better when we give that love away. If you want a good life, give good away to the people around you. To your family. To your friends. To your community. To strangers in the grocery store. To strangers across the globe whose face you will never see.
“The world is going to try to trick you into believing that a life of service will drain you, but it’s a straight-up dirty lie. I’ve never been more filled and more fulfilled than when I’m pouring into someone else who needs it. Never.
“You can’t out-give God, my friend. You just can’t.
“Pick up that piece of trash.
“Give that compliment.
“Offer someone your seat on the bus.
“Be gracious when you tip.
“Be grateful to your teacher.
“Smile at the cashier.
“Hold the door open.
“Feed the hungry.
“Clothe the naked.
“Include the lonely.
“Stop and go back for the person who is struggling.
“Find a need, and then friggin work to fill it.
Living for others makes the biggest difference.
“We shouldn’t be governed by people’s expectations.
“We shouldn’t be shackled to people’s opinions.
“We shouldn’t set ourselves on fire to keep them warm.
“But we SHOULD love them. We should be good to them. We should help them. We should encourage them. We should lift them up. At the very least, we should notice them.
“A party of one ain’t much fun, but a party that’s for the whole team…that’s how stuff gets done.
“Living for yourself will never leave an imprint, an impact, or be of much importance. Living for others, and with others, and alongside others—well that’ll change everything.”
Amy’s post has since gone viral, gaining a lot of shares and comments from her followers and even receiving some media attention.
In case you’re interested to hear more from Amy Weatherly, you can follow her on Facebook.
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