With so much emphasis on being liked these days, whether on social media or in real life, it’s safe to say that we can all benefit from some tips on how we can become more likeable.
So when it comes to social skills that can get you a date, a new friend, or the approval of your boss, here are 18 tips that can get you through.
1. Make people feel included.
We all hate feeling left out when we’re talking in a group, so it’s always a good idea to make everyone feel like they’re part of the conversation. So if someone looks a little out of place and uncomfortable in the group, go in with a line like, “Makes a lot of sense, right?” while looking in their direction.
2. Find common ground.
Instead of small talk that revolves around the weather or the flavor of the donuts your boss ordered, start talking about something that might genuinely spark someone’s interest.
3. Have approachable body language.
Your body language should look “open” wherein you’re actually facing someone, arms not crossed, and perhaps with a hint of a smile.
4. Never jump to conclusions.
Just because someone looks a certain way, don’t lump them into one category. Never treat a person a certain way just because they look like they belong into a category of people you don’t like.
5. Make eye contact.
It’s one way to show confidence and an openness to interact with someone. So avoid looking over their shoulder or at your hands when you’re talking to someone.
6. Keep your phone.
Never “interact” with a person with your eyes glued to your phone. No one wants to feel like a tiny screen in your hand is more important than they are.
7. Call people by their names.
The best way to remember someone’s name is to say it out loud when you’re being introduced. Another way to remember a person’s name is by associating their name with something. For instance, if you meet someone named Katherine, you can associate that with the image of the cat on their shirt.
To some, this is instinctual. For others, it can take some practice. Keep in mind that the person you’re talking to usually mirrors your facial expressions, so if you smile they just might smile too.
9. Give a firm handshake.
This is hugely important in corporate situations. When you shake someone’s hand, make sure it’s not too hard, and definitely not limp and soft.
10. Learn to laugh at yourself.
For instance, if you’re bad with names, be upfront about it to help lighten up the situation. People who know how to laugh at themselves tend to be seen as having quite a sense of humor.
11. Ask specific questions.
One way to get someone to like you is by acknowledging that they know a subject matter better than you. So if you’re looking to get someone at the office to like you, stroke their ego by asking them questions about something you know they’re good at.
12. Know how to tell a great story.
Have a handful of entertaining, inspiring, or informative stories on hand and practice telling them to people. The more you tell your stories, the better you get at story telling, until you have everything down perfectly, from the intro to the punchline to the conclusion.
13. Don’t be a downer.
Never be the type to start complaining and putting everyone’s mood down. This just sucks the fun out of a social situation.
14. If someone got interrupted, be the one to ask them to continue.
It’s always awkward getting interrupted because you never know if you should continue your story or just let it go. So to get someone out of that awkward situation and be immediately liked, ask them to continue their story while supplying some details about their story. For instance, say something like, “Hey, so what happened at that vacation you were talking about earlier?”
15. Know how to take a compliment.
Don’t brush it off because that will make the giver feel like their compliments are meaningless to you. And don’t mumble out an awkward “thanks, you too” either! Instead, genuinely say “thank you” with a smile and maybe even a compliment in their direction as well.
16. Know how to give compliments.
Use conversation openers like, “You’re an expert at social media marketing, right?” or “Your bag is so nice! Where did you get it?” It instantly strokes a person’s ego and makes them feel like an expert.
17. Listen instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.
Never, ever interrupt, and never have that look on your face that says you’re just dying to say something.
18. Actively listen to what someone is saying.
Don’t just hear them speak, actually take note of what they’re saying by keeping in mind the important information. Then you can respond by paraphrasing part of what they just said and then asking questions.
Now that you’ve got some tips to strengthen your social skills, go try them out and make a bunch of new friends!
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