It’s past Valentine’s Day and somehow you look back and realize that the one person who makes your heartbeat still hasn’t noticed you. You may have done everything just to get him or her to see what you’re all about but you failed. But have you done the scientific way?
Apparently, you can make someone notice you and fall in love with you using tactics proven by science. If you want a boost in your love life, read on.
#1. Establish eye contact.
A social psychologist named Zick Rubin conducted a survey in 1970 to arrive at a conclusion that the more couples establish eye contact the stronger their relationship will be. Other studies have concluded that feelings of intimacy, even among strangers, are increased with eye contact
#2. Be positive when on the first date.
Looks aren’t everything. Think positively and be positive if you’re on the first date. A study in 2010 involving 2,100 male students was done to come up with the conclusion that positivity can radiate during the first date. These students were grouped into three: one was shown photos of women who are to be rated based on their level of attractiveness.
The other two were given photos of women along with information about their personalities – one group given women with positive information and the other given mostly negative personalities. The group who was given positive traits found it easier to get attracted to different kinds of women compared to the other two groups.
#3.Get coffee on a first date.
We’ve all seen it – most first dates happen with a cup of coffee and if you’ll do it, you’re on the right track. According to John Bargh, a psychologist from Yale, body temperature is somehow connected to one’s personality. Bargh concluded after a couple of studies that if we feel warm on the inside, we tend to be warm toward others as well. In other words, you and your love interest should go to warm places and have warm foods like coffee instead of ice cream for your first date. This should help make your rendezvous go smoothly.
#4. Listen. Open your ears and mind.
This is not new information since listening is an important part in any stage of a relationship. But people should remember that listening should be done from the start. According to psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman, listening is important in falling in love since people have this need to be heard.
#5. Say "thank you."
Being grateful gives a positive feeling not only for the “thank you” recipient but also for the one who said it. Saying thanks to someone for a good deed they’ve done gives a feeling of being close to each other, according to a 2010 study.
Never underestimate the power of a smile. Smile when you feel like it. This gives you a good impression and will also make you look more appealing to the person you’re pursuing.
#7. Embarrass yourself.
Many might disagree with this but a study by researchers from the Harvard Business School found that 79% of their respondents would rather date a person who is a “revealer,” or someone who’s willing to show even the not-so-likable behavior than go for someone who always hides their true self.
#8. Secret language.
Your goofy side that has a certain expression that you and your love interest only know can help improve your romantic bond. This secret language helps build a shared identity, according to a study by the University of Texas, which then help both feel that they belong to each other.
#9. The power of touch.
While unwanted touches on a woman are not good, one should still note how touch can be a powerful tool if used the right way. A study in France in 2006 involving 120 women found there’s a higher chance for a woman to give out her phone number without being asked if she’s touched lightly on her forearm.
#10. Kiss passionately.
A survey of 695 adults revealed that people tend to remember the kiss that had the most passion in it. When you have the opportunity to lock lips, do it with so much passion.
#11. Call your female friend.
Falling in love is the easy part; the work lies in staying in love. It’s hard, though, to know if your relationship will last. In this case, a female friend can help you in that department. A study in 2001 found that female friends are better than male friends at predicting whether or not your relationship will last beyond six months.
#12. Say the "L" word before being really intimate.
If you want a lasting relationship, don’t hesitate to say those coveted three words before sharing intimate moments. Having a strong emotional connection with your significant other can positively impact the health of the relationship.
#13. Beware of narcissistic people.
If you don’t want to be wrong about someone, keep an eye on how they present themselves, especially those who like to put on artificial fronts like makeup and fancy clothes. Narcissistic people are so great at presenting themselves to be more attractive, a Washington University study stated. While not everyone who likes to be presentable is a narcissist, you still need to watch out for signs that someone you’re dating may not be capable of loving others but themselves.
#14. On the same page.
Couples who are on the same wavelength tend to have a more successful relationship, a 2007 study found. Researchers found that couples are more satisfied with each other if they like the same things, since they can share similar emotional experiences.
#15. Appreciate your partner.
Neuman has studied couples and relationships, both on what makes them thrive and fail. On average, about 48 percent of people are in a failed relationship because they didn’t appreciate their partner enough.
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