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Bride Cancels Wedding After Fiance Insists His Father Check Her Hymen While Others Watch




  • Bride learns of his fiancee’s weird family tradition before getting married.
  • She was asked to “prove” her “purity” among her fiancee’s family.
  • This cringe-worthy tradition involves all the immediate men relatives of the groom.

No woman (and even man) deserves to be put on the spot where she’s not comfortable and doesn’t feel secure. No woman should allow anyone to trespass her privacy and personal boundaries. Not even her so-called husband-to-be.

This becomes the case for a Reddit user behind the handle FarReference3 who took to the forum to discuss a disgusting situation she found herself getting into. There are a lot of different, quirky traditions each family in the world chooses to follow, but this one is just over the top.

According to this bride-to-be, she was shocked to learn that her fiancee’s family has a weird ceremony to pass before officially being allowed to join their family. Apparently, these women must first “prove” their virginity before getting married to their partners.

She started the post by sharing that they got engaged 8 months ago and that they were sure of each other. The post also mentioned that they were both “virgin” and since her fiancee was serious in doing sex after marriage, she obliged and did the same, because they love each other.

However, she wasn’t prepared for a big revelation that she only knew of two days before the big event. Something that would totally turn her world upside-down. Here’s the rest of her post in Reddit:

He has told me earlier that in his family the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounds like a massive joke. No turns out he was dead serious. He wants me, the night before to open my legs up in a small ceremony type thing so his dad can check me while him, his brothers and uncle can watch so that they know I am still ‘pure’.

I told him fat chance I am going to do that and he was begging to me to go through with it and how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway as I am still a virgin. I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic tbh.

Before she ended the post, FarReference3 admitted on how torn she is between giving in to the ceremony she really didn’t feel comfortable doing (just for the sake of her fiancee) or risk the one great love she found who she can’t live without.

But still, can you even imagine yourself spreading your legs in front of a group of men to prove your virginity? Have the father of your husband-to-be to examine your genitals just to prove something? Why do women in this modern-day and age even have to prove anything to anyone? And why does this tradition require the men, not the women, of their family?

A previous uproar among women and women rights supporters happened just recently when the rapper T.I. (via CNN) proudly disclosed that he brings his teenage daughter to the doctor regularly to check her hymen and make sure her sexual “purity” is still intact.

Amid mixed and wild reactions pertaining to his parenting choice surface online, the rapper refuses to accept that this is oppressive and in violation of her daughter’s rights.

FarReference3 also received an overwhelming response of support and enlightenment from fellow commenters saying that she should be more protective of herself than of someone else’s crooked beliefs. Comments saying that this was a pure manipulation and this isn’t anything about love flooded the thread.

Other commenters pointed out how it’s a taboo to equate virginity with the hymen being intact. Some of them explained how biologically a hymen can break not just because of having sexual intercourse. Others, though, went on by sharing how they lost their “virginity” if that was the basis–by ski accidents, bumping into trees, and just by mere exercise.

However, the whole point of these people bombarding the comment section with such was their concern for and hope that the original poster (OP) would finally realize what she should do and leave the relationship. She did realize it, but still in a traumatizing and insulting way:

I went and talked to him this morning I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen and accused me about lying about my virginity. I was trying to be calm and rational but he was not having it and just became more and more angry. I told him if he really loved me he would stand by me on this and tell his father no to which he slapped me and said he didnt need to prove anything.

so I ended it and left him. I am currently back at my friends house being miserable and eating pizza which is pretty fun.

It’s good that she did leave this guy. Getting into a family with such values won’t bring you a good life, anyway. Also, the audacity of this man to “slap” her just because she doesn’t want to be treated that way and be violated just goes to show that there’s a hidden agenda to this “family tradition.”

In a more ideal situation, I hope the former-bride would go to the authorities to report this. And who knows, there could maybe be even graver “ceremonies” happening in this family that no one deserves to undergo. Just the thought of it makes me cringe.

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