I received this in my email a year ago and it surely was thought provoking. Those who are already married can surely enhance their thoughts and relationship through this.
During an open forum, a woman asked, “How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The speaker then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the speaker.
Here’s the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle…
In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their individual or unique characteristics . Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades.
Soon, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s individual or unique characteristics , instead of being cute, it’ll drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
Make it work.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: It’s not pre-determined who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable… you can “make” love.
Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling
No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE
Divorced Man Wrote 20 Epic Marriage Advice He Wished He Could Have Had
He lost the love of his life through divorce, he wished he could have done these things to save his marriage.
Divorce is messy and painful. It takes you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions often filled with resentment and regret from a love that’s been lost, or for a love that wasn’t even there to begin with.
And that is never easy. But when two people who promised to spend a lifetime together separate, they don’t just end their marriage—they end years upon years of friendship, promises, and dreams. They end bitter-sweet memories of what used to be and leave nothing but questions of where, why, and how something that was once so beautiful and true could go terribly wrong.
Neither marriage nor divorce comes with an instruction manual, so when Gerard Rogers lost the love of his life through divorce, he wished he could have done these things to save his marriage:...
10 Marriage Tips From A Woman’s Perspective, A Beautiful Response To Divorced Man’s Advice
Let’s take a look into the vantage point of marriage from a woman’s perspective.
A while back, we shared an interesting article that ultimately went viral, the 20 Epic Marriage Advice from a divorced man. Everyone expressed their different opinions. Most people admire him because it takes guts to stand up and be transparent about your failures. It’s equally as commendable to stand up and say how you’d do things differently. But some people aren’t happy, they think the article is biased and must’ve been written by a disgruntled woman.
Then we received an email from a woman who claimed she has triumphed the murky waters of divorce. She said, the divorced man’s advice are quite nice. But one thing that his post is lacking, however, is the female perspective. And with that, she offered her own version of his wise marriage tips.
#1. Respect your husband.
10 Habits Of Happy Couples, According To A Psychiatrist
These simple habits will certainly make your relationship even better starting today.
What does it take to be happy in a relationship? The real answer can differ from one couple to another. Building a strong and positive relationship certainly takes effort and time on both parties and it doesn’t just happen overnight. In order to have a successful relationship that keeps growing stronger each day, you have to put in a lot of effort and work.
Dr. Mark Goulston is a psychiatrist, international speaker, and best selling author of numerous best-selling books. He is known to be the author of the famous 10 Habits of Happy Couples – a book that has been read by over half a million people. Regardless of the state of your relationship, Dr. Goulston provides some interesting insight on the 10 habits that will allow you and your loved one to keep the magic going.
#1. Go to bed at the same time.
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