Woman Offers To Randomly Show Up at People’s Funeral and Make It ‘Mysterious’ For $50

Funerals are somber affairs not everyone is fond of attending. The weeping and sad eulogies are heart-breaking and mind-numbing. And they’re not only painful reminders of a loved one’s permanent absence, but also a mocking to our very own mortality.

Perhaps this is the reason why a woman posted a weird yet hilarious offer on Twitter. She probably wanted to make people’s funeral less somber and rather quite intriguing for attendees.

Meet Dana Schwartz. For $50, this 26-year-old author/journalist promises to attend your funeral and make it ‘mysterious for everyone’.

Her tweet, on how she’s going to do it, has gone viral and since garnered more than 473K likes and 97K retweets.

If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019

She will show up to your funeral like that. Then she’ll leave, making people question her arrival there and possibly, creating a lot of conspiracies around your normal, old-age death.

If you pay her on Venmo, she’ll do this too.

my venmo is dana-schwartz-11 I will need the money deposited in advanced, and your obituary will need to be published in a newspaper so I can write a code on the back and leave it at your grave for someone to find. the code will be nonsense.

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019

It sounded funny at first. But it wasn’t long before the responses came rolling in, the first being from famous author Neil Gaiman.

If you promise to dab your cheeks from time to time with a black lace handkerchief you’ve got a deal.

— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) January 3, 2019

The pair even settled on a few specifics.

Oh that was a given

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019

Brilliant. Should I put it into my will, or just send you the $50 and trust you to show up and make people think I was interesting?

— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) January 3, 2019

Obviously, you'll need all the help you can get. But you can trust I'll be there (don't make it for a while).

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 4, 2019

Then people actually started sending her money.

EXCUSE ME I HAVE TO FIND A VINTAGE CIGARETTE HOLDER STAT. I HAVE A FUNERAL TO MOROSELY GAZE UPON. pic.twitter.com/hOeQcSggdX

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 3, 2019

people venmoing me: jokes on you, I'm actually coming to your funeral.

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) January 4, 2019

Some even propose better ideas to make the funeral even more mysterious.

Ill give you $75 if when the casket is going down you walk over and place a small box on top and say only loud enough for a few people to hear "if they only knew"

— dick (@spursyyank) January 5, 2019

Or how about as the burial ends, taking out your phone, ringing someone and just saying “it’s done” before pausing & hanging up, then just turning and walking away?

— Dave Nevett (@_GLB) January 5, 2019

I'll give you $50 more if, when someone asks "Did you know her" you answer "did any of us really?"

— Leslie J. Anderson (@inkhat) January 5, 2019

For €100, I would like a long stemmed red rose tossed into my open grave as you wipe a single tear away from under your huge black sunglasses. I already plan to do this at a certain man's funeral:)

— regina kealy (@kealycopy) January 5, 2019

How much to arrange for a solemn child to hold your hand at the same time?

— Robin Hart-Jones (@Roblex) January 5, 2019

Can you disguise yourself as me and smoke a cigarette as you stand a row or 2 away from my funeral while you look at it go on so people think I faxed my death

— . (@clendeninjon) January 5, 2019

How much extra for the package where you slowly make your way through the crowd as it starts to break up, lay your hand on the casket, and say in a low (but clearly audible) voice, "I promise I'll take care of them"? It can sound heartfelt or threatening; I'll leave it up to you

— Crise de l'heure (@julesnewaddy) January 4, 2019

If I double it, will you tell people I was a traveler from the future and you were my handler?

— Andrew Gurevich (@agingprophet) January 5, 2019

For an extra £50 please will you pick up a call and say, "yes, they believe it", then leave inconspicuously in a chauffer driven black car?

— Stan Gaskell (@stanielxD) January 5, 2019

This guy even wanted to be Dana’s partner in crime.

Can I be the guy by the black car wearing black leather gloves, sunglasses, and chewing gum, slowly? We might have a legit biz here!

— theSouthernNewYorker (@SouthernNYorker) January 5, 2019

This one is just sad.

can i just pay you to attend my funeral since nobody else will

— melia:) (@beautifulscxrss) January 5, 2019

Dana’s viral tweet goes to show that there are lots of people who don’t want a quiet, traditional funeral anymore. That humoring their friends and loved ones till the very end might be one of the best ways for them to easily cope up with their loss. Though if Dana’s service pushes through, we’re pretty sure there will be a lot of very confused family members out there. And that these people’s funeral will be the topic of their clan for years to come.