As parents, it is quite normal fo us to prioritize our children’s well-being. For the most part, we want them to be happy and safe from different types of harm.
Sometimes, however, it’s best to simply let them cry. According to an expert, there are instances when parents should allow their children to cry instead of immediately pacifying them and telling them to stop.
Take it from Dr. Sazini Nzula, a Special Needs Parenting Consultant and a Certified QST Specialist.
In a blog post in her site, she explained:
“I am talking about a particular type of cry; the cry that comes from sadness, disappointment or frustration and not from physical pain.
“For many parents, it’s particularly hard to let their child with special needs cry. They figure their child has enough to deal with, why should they be sad when they, the parent, can do something about it. That something is usually a distraction, giving the child a treat, playing with them, picking them up in a panic and pleading with them to stop crying.”
Letting children express their emotions is actually good for them, shared Dr Sazini.
“Human beings are capable of feeling and expressing a variety of emotions. Every single one of those emotions is important and serves a purpose. There are no good or bad emotions; they don’t have an intrinsic value, only a purpose.
“For some reason, we as a society have decided that some emotions such as joy, excitement and love are examples of “good” emotions whereas sadness, anger and fear are on the “bad” side of the emotional table. We celebrate and encourage our children to express the emotions we have decided are good and discourage the bad ones.”
“All young children have a lot to be sad and cry about because there is so much that they cannot control. So much that is frustrating, especially when they can’t yet fully express themselves. For children with special needs, this period can extend for a little bit longer. When they cry, our emotional hearts constrict a little and we want to make things better for them. We want to make our kids happy, not sad.
“However, when we stop our children from expressing their sadness, we send the message that there is something wrong with being sad. There isn’t. By not letting them cry, we stunt their emotional development. It doesn’t matter that it’s done out of love, it still emotionally disables the child.”
So yes, parents should get comfortable with hearing their children cry. It will be good for them and their kids as well.
As Dr Sazini put it:
“You are doing your job as a good parent, you are letting them experience the full spectrum of what it means to be human. You are helping them grow emotionally. So, let them cry!”
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