How do you react when your toddler or preschooler throws a tantrum? Are you usually patient or do you often lose your cool, too? Although the former is the ideal response, let’s face it – it’s generally easier to be impatient, especially if you’ve had a long day and are terribly tired.
One mother, however, claims it is possible to stay tolerant of youngsters’ outburtsts – and she speaks from experience. You see, Shauna Harvey is a mother to a preschool-age kid she describes as “testy” and yet, she has found a brilliant parenting hack she shared on social media.
Like most parents, Shauna Harvey fels she often reaches her limits.
She wrote on a Facebook post:
“I’ve found myself so incredibly stressed out, I beat my head against the wall daily because I don’t understand why my 4-year-old-insists on being disrespectful and a non-listener. I was to the point of crying at least every other day.”
Fortunately, she found a good solution.
According to Shauna, she spotted an idea from Idealist Mom‘s Kelly Holmes. The said mommy blogger explained that most parents, whether they admit it or not, have developed the “bad habit of reacting to our kids’ behavior with sharp words or loud voices” but things do not have to stay that way.
Kelly Holmes’ “5 Hair Ties” technique is quite helpful for anyone who wants to control their temper.
As Shauna explained:
“I wore 5 rubber bands on my wrist from the time I got up, to the time I tucked him in just now. The 5 rubber bands represent every time you lose your cool or say something unkind to your child. Every time that happens, you move one band to the other wrist. To “gain the band back”, you must do 5 kind/positive things with your child (dance party, singing a song together, reading together, etc).
“I read that science shows for every bad reaction, it takes 5 POSITIVE reactions to regain a positive relationship. I’m going to be using this method until it becomes a habit and basically turns into an auto pilot ritual.”
The result has so far been life-changing for Shauna.
“I have finished the day with all 5 bands on the original wrist. I’m very proud of myself for exercising patience with him.”
Numerous netizens have been enthusiastic about the idea and have even suggested other ways it can be applied.
One Jean Hilkin pointed out:
“Wonderful idea that can be used for any intense relationship as in dealing with elderly, dementia family members…”
Another Trystan Smith wrote:
“I heard somewhere recently you can do something similar every time you complain…. or every time you say something negative about yourself. Any bad habit I guess.”
“I’m glad that this is helping so many of you guys,” Shauna later wrote. “We’re all human, we lose our cool, but as parents, it’s our job to re route and be examples to our children!”
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