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50 Hilarious Court Reporter Transcripts

#36 is making me dumb!






There’s nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Whether you’re in the jury, on the witness stand, or on trial yourself, it’s certainly a tense and nail-biting environment.

However, there are incidents inside the courtroom that are unexpectedly funny. Here are 50 of the most hilarious things that court reporters have ever recorded to be said in court.

#1 Not only possible, but likely.

#2 Well played, sir. Well played.

#3 Unless the attorney knows things about the witness.

#4 Please.

#5 How is this unclear?

#6 I consider this a high estimate.

#7 Did he?

#8 No he didn’t!

#9 Or was he? Dun dun dun.

#10 Four letters, one word.

#11 A stolen shot, maybe?

#12 Wait, what?

#13 Accurate.

#14 What a plot twist!

#15 This witness took the oath to tell the truth very seriously!

#16 Just one.

#17 I’d be upset too!

#18 How do you know he’s not wearing another mask under his mask?

#19 What can I say? She’s a party girl.

#20 There’s a difference.

#21 I don’t remember.

#22 It’s the victim’s fault.

#23 They should be more specific with their questioning.

#24 Why not?

#25 Take a wild guess.

#26 Just tell me your name!

#27 Guess again.

#28 That’s a pretty tight question. I wonder if the attorney is “close enough” to find the answer.

#29 Depends.

#30 Didn’t know I had to be qualified to pee in a cup, I better go get a certificate.

#31 Obviously.

#32 Can this be more senseless?

#33 LAWYER: Okay, thank you. No more questions.

#34 Define “lived.”

#35 The word you’re looking for is “attempted.”

#36 Alone by myself.

#37 Most likely.

#38 He was right.

#39 Attached to his neck.

#40 At least he realized it before it was too late.

#41 It’s going to be a hard one to find.

#42 Are there even other kinds?

#43 No, the old one.

#44 Fair enough.

#45 Everything was fine before the accident.

#46 I mean, I could try.

#47 It was doing well.

#48 This is me.

#49 That makes sense.

#50 Yes, I´d also suspect he was there until he left.

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Foreigner’s Instagram Shares Strange Fashion in China and its Truly Hilarious

“Having lived in China for quite a while, I’ve seen a lot of unusual things.”

Mark Andrew



Living in a foreign country can be quite an adventure. You get the chance to explore new places, try exotic food, know about different customs and traditions, and a whole lot more.

In some instances, you get to notice certain things you might found strangely amusing. The locals may be used to it - or may not have any idea what it is - but with your fresh (and informed) eyes, it's really impossible to miss them.

Case in point, one Instagram account being run by a foreigner has been sharing some questionable fashion choices (most of which are statement shirts) worn by people from all walks of life in China. And they're hysterically funny!

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Chinese Nurse Gives Foreign Student A Strange Note, Internet Decodes Message

The internet is filled with witty and helpful people!

Nobelle Borines



Traveling to new countries can be exciting although most of us can get lost in translation. The language barrier can easily be tackled through a translator. Interestingly, one Chinese nurse found a unique way to communicate with an international student. Although the nurse didn't speak any English, they decided to give the hospitalized student a note to explain an upcoming procedure. Needless to say, the internet decided to decode the message.

The image was posted on Reddit with a simple description. "An international student hospitalized in China and the nurse who couldn’t speak English informed him about his surgery with this note," it reads. Nevertheless, the Chinese nurse did everything they could to make sure the patient knew about the procedure.

What could this possibly mean?

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Artist Turns Cats Into Giants and It’s Adorably Hilarious!

Catzilla lives!

Mark Andrew



They're often lazy, sometimes chubby, and usually adorable yet annoying. No, ladies, we're not talking about your boyfriends and husbands - this is all about our beloved cats!

Although our furry feline friends have not reached a status as that of a dog (a.k.a. "man's best friend"), it's safe to say they've undoubtedly made it into everyone's hearts. In fact, it's almost always impossible to spend a day on social media without encountering cat-themed memes, GIFs, videos and whatnots.

Cats are indeed impossible to resist and they even become a source of inspiration for many artists. Case in point, the Photoshopped images below show us what it's like if cats were actually giants!

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