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50 Hilarious Court Reporter Transcripts

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There’s nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Whether you’re in the jury, on the witness stand, or on trial yourself, it’s certainly a tense and nail-biting environment.

However, there are incidents inside the courtroom that are unexpectedly funny. Here are 50 of the most hilarious things that court reporters have ever recorded to be said in court.

#1 Not only possible, but likely.

#2 Well played, sir. Well played.

#3 Unless the attorney knows things about the witness.

#4 Please.

#5 How is this unclear?

#6 I consider this a high estimate.

#7 Did he?

#8 No he didn’t!

#9 Or was he? Dun dun dun.

#10 Four letters, one word.

#11 A stolen shot, maybe?

#12 Wait, what?

#13 Accurate.

#14 What a plot twist!

#15 This witness took the oath to tell the truth very seriously!

#16 Just one.

#17 I’d be upset too!

#18 How do you know he’s not wearing another mask under his mask?

#19 What can I say? She’s a party girl.

#20 There’s a difference.

#21 I don’t remember.

#22 It’s the victim’s fault.

#23 They should be more specific with their questioning.

#24 Why not?

#25 Take a wild guess.

#26 Just tell me your name!

#27 Guess again.

#28 That’s a pretty tight question. I wonder if the attorney is “close enough” to find the answer.

#29 Depends.

#30 Didn’t know I had to be qualified to pee in a cup, I better go get a certificate.

#31 Obviously.

#32 Can this be more senseless?

#33 LAWYER: Okay, thank you. No more questions.

#34 Define “lived.”

#35 The word you’re looking for is “attempted.”

#36 Alone by myself.

#37 Most likely.

#38 He was right.

#39 Attached to his neck.

#40 At least he realized it before it was too late.

#41 It’s going to be a hard one to find.

#42 Are there even other kinds?

#43 No, the old one.

#44 Fair enough.

#45 Everything was fine before the accident.

#46 I mean, I could try.

#47 It was doing well.

#48 This is me.

#49 That makes sense.

#50 Yes, I´d also suspect he was there until he left.

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