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Dad Recounts His Toddler’s Horrific Poop Incident in Hilarious Facebook Post

Understandably, the father wanted to run away.

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Moms and dads do not have it easy. Taking care of the children and the household can be pretty daunting tasks. Parents-to-be should prepare themselves for the horrors of parenting.

A dad recounted an incident that will probably urge some to use birth control. Just when Jesse Mab-Phea Hill thought that he got parenting down, his daughter turned his world (and stomach) upside down. He was about to enjoy his dessert when he smelled something foul that made him lose his appetite.

So I was having a pretty good day. Dropped the boy off at school, worked out, let the dogs outside and began chilling like a boss in my man cave in the basement.

Mayra was out teaching her workout class, Alessandra was sleep in her room and the dogs were outside. I had the house to myself and I was taking full advantage of watching unimpeded YouTube videos.

I decided I wanted a piece of the chocolate cake we made for Jesse’s Cub Scout thing the other day, so I made my way up to the main floor. As I’m going upstairs I smell something foul. I scan the basement from the stairs thinking the dogs dropped a deuce before I let them outside. I see nothing….. And then my blood runs cold when I realize the stink is coming from the upper floor.

Dad is horrified when he saw the room

“I run up the stairs screaming ‘no, no, no, no,’ till I get to Alessandra’s room. There she is, standing at the baby gate, butt naked, holding her diaper, covered head to toe in her own crap. “I’m not talking a little poop here and there on her. I’m talking layered on globs of human fecal matter covering her arms, legs, face, and HAIR. It’s bad. It’s worse than any other time she decided to explore in her diaper.”

Poop is on the walls, chair, and toys

He could not believe his eyes with what he saw and he admitted that he wanted to run away from the scene. However, he knew that he couldn’t.

“I was tempted to close her door, wait till Mayra got home and pretend like I was sleep so she would have to deal with it. But yesterday was Mexican Mother’s Day and I didn’t want to be a dick.

There is literally no good place to pick my daughter up to get her to the bath, so I just knock the baby gate over so she can walk out on her own terms. Instead of walking out of her room she smiles up at me and extends her arms for me to pick her up. I yell ‘Hell No.’ After a brief stare off she walks out of her room, pass me and heads down the stairs.”

The culprit after the poop incident

“The whole time she’s in the tub she tries to touch me with her sh*t covered hands and I scream like a pre-pubecent girl and dodge her. After 20 minutes I pick all the crap out of her hair, bottom of her feet and everywhere in between.”

After giving his daughter a refreshing bath, Hill has to tackle her room also covered in poop. He took a good look around – the walls, cushions, and toys are all covered with fecal matter.

Dad's face after experiencing the nightmare

“I walk in her room slowly and am greeted with a scene straight out of a German fetish dream. Everything on the right side of the room is covered in steaming baby crap. The walls, the toys, the windows, the curtains, the play bench, the floor, the baby piano, my hopes, all covered in crap. It looked like a real category 5 sh*t storm blew thru her room. Hurricane sh*trina if you will. I have no clue where to start. So I call Mayra.”

Many people found his tale hilarious and gave him a nod of approval as his post went viral.

Funny

Judge Asks Accused Mom’s Daughter To Decide Her Charges, Her Point Of Defense Had The Court Laughing

A daughter was given the chance to defend her mom in court but everyone was laughing when she started explaining.

The innocence and honesty of children combined can oftentimes result to unexpected humor and they can be of great help inside the court too! Another case was just resolved by a popular municipal judge of Providence, Rhode Island with the help of yet another kid who had the entire courtroom laughing at her witty judgment.

Judge Frank Caprio stars in the television series “Caught in Providence” where he handles a bunch traffic violations and some other small claims. If you happen to follow the show, you will know how the 80-year-old judge can be merciful and understanding to people who make mistakes.

This kid joins Judge Carpio in front of the court to help him decide on the charges to be pressed against her mom.

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Grandma Makes Hilarious Mistake By Buying Adult Book For 6-Year-Old Granddaughter

She thought it was just a children’s book about funny animals. She couldn’t be more wrong!

When we go the bookstore to buy books for our kids, we usually take our time to make sure that our youngsters will get something good out what they ought to read. But when we are in a hurry, we skip flipping the pages and simply pick the ones with most attractive cover. And that’s where our biggest mistake happens.

The hilarious story of a grandmother buying the “wrong” book for her granddaughter can be a good example to this. Six-year-old, Emmersyn, felt overjoyed when her grandmother gave her an animal-themed picture book for a present. But as she goes through the supposed “story,” she discovered several words that she could not even understand.

This grandma surprised her granddaughter with a new book but the child's parents were shocked to see its content.

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Funny

Arrogant Guy Gets What He Deserves After Smoking At Gas Station Despite Being Told To Stop

This douchebag learned his lesson the hard way!

Safety rules are implemented for very obvious reasons. If you choose to keep ignoring them, you have to be ready to face the consequences – one way or another!

Just take it from this guy who decided smoking in a gas station was a good idea. Eventually, he learned his lesson the hard way and we have good reason to believe that he will think twice before doing the same deed again.

What a jackass! This guy smoked while at a gas station – despite being told several times to stop.

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