Just because you took a shower in the morning and you don’t smell doesn’t mean the outfit you wore the whole day is clean. You’ve probably been on public transport, had lunch in a cafeteria, met some friends in a bar, and took a taxi back home. In the process, you’ve handled dollar bills and coins, passed by some smokers, and don’t forget your sweat.
Susan Shain has written a viral essay about why she refuses to let people sit on her bed in their outside clothes. While that sounded snobbish or too strict at first, her eye-opening reasons might make you agree with her.
“’Take off your pants,’ I command. When I say this, my date inevitably gives me a look from somewhere at the crossroads of bewilderment and sexual excitement.
To quell that second emotion, I’ve learned to quickly clarify my request with a follow-up statement: ‘I’m not going to sleep with you, but you can’t sit on my bed in your street clothes.’
And that, also inevitably, is followed by a conversation about my particular proclivity. Which is that only clean things — from purses to human beings — are allowed to touch my bed. No suitcases or purses; they’ve been on countless floors and other suspect surfaces. Not even me when I’m dirty; I’m the weird roomie who showers when she gets home from the bar.
And definitely no other polluted people or their polluted clothing.”
Of course, practicing good hygiene is very important for your overall health, not to mention your social life, but understanding what naturally occurs for a day to a person’s body will clarify how gross it is for someone to jump on the bed quickly.
“I’m always surprised when my request confuses my guests. I mean, why would you legitimately allow street clothes in your bed?
I explain it like this: ‘Just think about where your clothes have been: on a subway seat, a city bench, a bar stool. Now think about who else has been on those seats, benches, and stools. Would you invite them into your bed? I didn’t think so. Well, then what makes their sweat or cooties or bodily particles any different?’
Despite what you might think, I don’t have fears about getting a specific virus or fleas or anything, but I don’t discount it either. I just can’t stomach the idea of running the risk of my bed being filled with something dirty or potentially dangerous.”
Susan perfectly explains that the last thing you want on your bed is a million germs. The bed is your sanctuary, where you daydream, read a book, cuddle with your partner, and fall asleep. Why spoil it?
“I think my fear of a dirty bed stems from the fact that I’ve seen things in the street I would never want touching my bed. Or perhaps it’s because my mother is Japanese, and in our culture, people bathe before bed — not only to relax, but also to keep your bed clean. Or perhaps it’s because I’ve lived in several studios, where my bed’s been my only piece of furniture.
At its basest, though, the fear is because my bed is my sanctuary. I want to cuddle up in my sheets knowing they only contain the germs of me and the people I’ve invited into it. So, at least in my active imagination, I run the risk of my bed declining into a center of dirt and putrefaction if I let anything dirty touch my sheets or my outer cover.
Now that you’ve read this, I’ve probably ruined you forever. #SorryNotSorry.”
Susan concluded her lengthy essay with, “As for the guys who come home with me? They generally don’t complain either.”
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