A wedding is not only an exciting occasion for the couple but also for their well-meaning and, sometimes, a bit too enthusiastic families and friends. Ask any newly-weds and they’ll readily tell you that most of them receive far more marriage advice than they could ever remember.
While many offer encouraging words and useful reminders, there are also a few people who can be insensitive when in their conversations with the couple. Case in point, here are top 5 things you should never say or ask newly-married couples.
1. “You’re married? And you’re how old? You’re still a baby!”
In a PopSugar article, writer Kathryn M shared how she was only 23 when she tied the knot with her husband, who was 24 at the time. And they often encountered those awkward age-related questions.
The writer further shared:
“We get it, we were — and still are — pretty young. But that doesn’t mean we weren’t ready…. Marriage isn’t a ‘one-size-fits-all’ kind of commitment. Everyone is different and every couple has a different timeline. There’s no ‘right’ age to wed.”
2. “Enjoy the honeymoon phase while it lasts.”
Another left field remark often encountered by couples, Kathryn said she and her husband didn’t know “how to respond” when they heard this from others. So they simply “looked at each other, shrugged, and awkwardly said, ‘OooK,’ not knowing what else to do.”
3. “What’s it like knowing you won’t have sex with anyone else ever again?”
Some probably mean it as a joke but seriously, this is very inappropriate to say. So understandably, Kathryn was often “lost for words” when this was asked.
“When we said ‘I do,’ we closed the ‘playing the field’ chapter of our lives. But for us — just like the majority of other couples — being in a committed relationship is so much more than simply sex. It’s about the unbreakable bond. The idea of living each day with your best friend by your side. The confidence knowing you are with your soulmate. And that feeling is so much more euphoric than any nonchalant fling.”
4. “Wow, good for you two for tying the knot, especially with the divorce rate being so high.”
Sure, it’s a fact that divorce rates are skyrocketing in our times but that’s not what newly-married couples need to hear – especially during their wedding day. It’s always better to “shower newlyweds with encouragement instead of negativity,” the writer shared.
5. “When are you two planning to have kids?”
This is a very common question but to be frank, it shouldn’t even be asked. Having kids, much like marriage itself, is a very personal decision. So simply said: it’s none of anyone else’s business, aside from the couple.
Kathryn pointed out, “There’s probably some good reasoning why a couple hasn’t had kids yet. Whether they are experiencing fertility issues, trying to become more financially stable, or simply don’t want to have children — now or ever — it’s their own prerogative.”
As our parents used to remind us when we were kids, if we don’t have anything nice to say, it’s best not to say anything at all. So keep these thoughts in mind next time you try to have a conversation with your newly-wed friends.
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