Top 12 Parenting Mistakes You Might Not Be Aware Of That Have Negative Impact On Kids

Being a parent is tough. It is a lifetime commitment and you work 24/7.

No breaks, no holidays and no escape from responsibilities. You may not be aware that you are doing things which you think is helpful to your child but in reality it is doing the opposite.

You may think that you are giving your best but think again and try to look back on some areas.

The following tips may shock you about how you deal with your kids.

Be prepared and reflect while reading through this article.

#1. Making your child the center of your attention

There is nothing wrong with giving your child time and attention. Have you ever made your schedule based so much on your child's needs? Is your family always or most of the time dining on your son/daughter's favorite fast food? Do you adjust the schedule of your family according to the wants of your kids? Do they always get what they want even if it’s already too much? If yes then you are focusing too much attention to their wants.

This kind of parenting will sooner in life make them self centered. If your child will grow up in an environment where in their wants and likes are always met, then later in life they will be the kind of person who will not get well with others. Not everyone is alike. People have their own desires, interests and hobbies. In life you must learn how to get along with others. Give and take is the key. Learn how to be sensitive with other's needs. It is a balance in life that is learned during childhood.

#2. Deciding so much for your child

Parental guidance is necessary for your child to grow up right. Decision making is a different story. One common mistake of parents is pushing your frustrations to your child.

If a person wanted to be a doctor or lawyer and end up in a different field, chances are some people will push their child to be a doctor or lawyer to fulfill their dreams. Some parent’s frustration will be passed to their children and would want them to take the road they have desired and would want their kids to be successful on their parents past mistakes or failure. Other parents believe that deciding for their children is the best but in reality, their kids are not happy about it.

Different people have different desires. If you will force your child to be something he does not like, that kid in the future may fail or if he succeeds, he will not be happy and will end up regretting the decision they made.

As a parent we should not decide for our child's career. Best thing we can do for them is to inspire and guide them to choose the right path in their life.

#3. Over-praising your children

If you constantly and overly praising your child with words like "you are the best", "you're a genius" or "you can reach anything you desire" chances are your child will end up not working hard.

They may get over confident if they got raised in that manner. It is important as a child to feel the need to strive and work hard and fulfill a goal. In this approach of parenting, your child will feel the difficulties of childhood struggles like being on top of the class or simply passing a difficult exam but after achieving a good result, they will feel the glory of hard earned success.

Children must be praised and be encouraged but also expose them to reality that life is hard work, do not make them believe that life is a breeze and a fairy tale. If they have done something good, praise them well. If they lacked or failed on something, discuss as well as motivate them to work harder and ask them to try again.

#4. Assuming a bad behavior from your children

The opposite of praising is criticism and worse if you will assume something that is not done by your child. It is like blaming them for something they did not do. Words such as "you failed your exam didn't you?", "did you steal money from my pocket?" “You never get things done properly, you are hopeless!” or "why are you so stupid?" are very destructive to a child. Let me remind you that there is a long list of negative words that you might be telling your child unintentionally.

Using those mentioned above will not help them become better. Rather it will be implanted in their mind and unconsciously they may or will do what you tell them or accuse them of.

These awful words will wound their hearts and mind and will have an effect to their self esteem, self respect and confidence. They will not forget about these criticisms. Remember, parents’ role is to build and boost their children’s good character and not break them.

#5. Not appreciating your child

Be a fan of your child; boost their spirit by acknowledging their good deeds and works.
Be sincere in telling your kid how well he did in school, at home or anywhere.

A child craves their parent's attention. Sometimes parents are too busy with work load and other chores in the house and the only time you talk to your child is when you scold them for doing something wrong. Logically if they want your attention and you only notice their mistakes, they may do wrong deeds just to get your attention.

If you will make it a habit to give time to genuinely praise them for a good deed, then you will win their heart and they will continue to do good things. Isn't it wonderful to get those two effects on your child?

#6. Not establishing boundaries with your child

Keep in mind that you are a parent and not a friend. The two are far different from each other. Being a parent, you need to implement rules and have to be strict.

Leaning to the friendly side of being a parent may cause you a difficulty in giving punishment or discipline to your child. Remember that setting a boundary between you and your child is the key.

A friend is someone who is on the same level of relationship. Meaning your friend cannot punish you or ground you for doing something wrong. As a parent, you are above your child. You have the authority, you are the person in charge but at the same time you give them the freedom to choose and decide with your supervision and constant support.

If you love your child to grow up well, keep him in a good track. Punishments are given to eliminate blossoming bad behavior.

#7. Shaming your Child Especially In Front of Others

It is a big no to humiliate your child with shameful words or actions especially in the eyes of the public or even a sibling. Shaming will deeply hurt your child and will affect their self esteem.

When you use shameful words, their self worth is affected as well. If you continue to do this, your child will just get worse and worse. This may lead do depression and self pity.

What is better to do is to talk to your child and use positive words. Assure them that you love them. If you need to scold them, talk to them privately without anybody who can hear and judge them.

#8. Protecting your child too much from consequences of their decision.

Choices are done by everyone even by a 4 year old. Each decision has its consequences. May it be by accident or intentional, all things done have a corresponding action.

Protecting your child from these consequences is similar to not disciplining them from wrong doings. If you come and save them all the time, they will grow up careless and irresponsible. In order for a child to grow well and organized, they should learn by experience. Of course, you need to weigh when to help and intervene and when to loosen up and let them deal by themselves.

For example, you reminded your son not to forget his lunch and he did forget, don't run to his school to deliver his lunch. Let your kid feel a little hunger so that next time he will not forget to put his lunch in his bag. Not having lunch once will not hurt him.

Another example, don't blame your child's teacher for having low grades; if you do not see your child studying or have enough determination in doing good in school. Your child must learn this early that they cannot run away from the consequences of their actions. This will make them a better person in the future.

#9. Never compare your children to others or even to their siblings.

It is a mortal sin for a parent to compare his child to another individual even a sibling. This will cause sibling rivalry or insecurity to your children.

This will not help them; rather it may cause jealousy, unhealthy competition, hate and anxiety. They will not appreciate you for the comparison that you make between them and another person.

All children are special, they are different and unique. They have their own strengths, abilities and weaknesses. We just have to observe and see what they are good at and appreciate it, while working on their weaknesses.

Remember that everyone has their own exceptionality and talents. Build your children and not devastate them through comparison. Keep in mind that whatever your child is and what they become reflects what kind of parenting you give them.

Don't compare them with other child. You don't want to be compared to other parents do you?

#10. Implementing discipline when you are angry.

It is wrong to scold your child for a mistake made in the past, if he made a mistake last week don’t reprimand him now; it should have been given at that time. If your child did something wrong which made you really mad and annoyed but you feel that you can’t control your anger then take a quick break. Do not confront your child at the heat of your emotion, or you may end up saying inappropriate words or doing badly chosen actions or perhaps imposing unnecessary punishment. Give yourself at least ten minutes to relax before talking to them.

In cases like this, it is best to give yourself a time out. Leave the situation for 10 to 15 minutes. Give yourself some time to cool down after which do what is necessary to do. If you act on your anger, chances are you will do something you don't really intend to do like hitting your child.

While discipline is important, proper disciplining is more effective all the time. Don't act instantly. Think first before acting. Your child will learn from how you handle your own anger.

#11. Failure to teach emotional management

As a parent you may focus on academics and good behavior. Most of the time parents forget to teach their child how to handle emotions.

The world we live in is full of stress, anger, happiness, joy, and a lot more. You must teach your child how to balance things when it comes to emotions. You must teach them how to manage stress and anger, how to control joy and happiness.

If your child will fail to control his anger and stress, it may lead to breaking down or will give him rage which may cause a lot of trouble. If you will allow him to be overjoyed with things around him, they might become insensitive and careless.

There are a lot of emotions out there, it’s best to lead the way by setting a good example. It is not bad to feel these emotions since it is natural for everyone to feel them. What is important is how to manage and act accordingly.

#12. Taking your marriage for granted because of your children

Remember that parenting is a team effort. Your one and only partner, team mate and coach is your spouse. If you don't have a good relationship with your partner, there will be a lot of inconsistencies in the manner how you raise your children.

It is best for your children to see their parents love each other as parental love radiates to the child. In return, they will see that they have a wonderful family in which they belong. Your children will learn love and will grow with it in their hearts.

Being busy with the responsibilities in raising the children is not a reason for neglecting duties and roles as a husband or as a wife. Balance your time and always discuss with your partner from time to time on how you should deal and raise your kids, as sometimes circumstances change and needs adjustment.

Truly it is very difficult to be a good parent but I assure you that it is worth it. Your children will be your legacy. They will carry your name and their children will carry yours as well. Raise them well and your spirit will live with them forever. After all, parents’ greatest achievements are to see their kids grow up to be the best, well mannered person and successful in all aspects of life.

Learn more from your experience as a parent and continue improving yourself day by day. Parenting is a long process and a challenging journey but a priceless memory and experience to treasure.

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