Funny Illustrations Showcasing How To Pet Animals The Right Way

Unless you have a fist-sized chunk of ice for a heart, you probably also have a tendency to feel the urge to pet most of the fluffy animals that you come across. We just can’t help it; they’re just too damn cute. Unfortunately, these animals often come with various forms of self-defense like sharp claws and bone-crushing teeth.

The decision often has to be made – risk the bite, or exert an extra effort to still yourself around them. Yes, it sounds very simple on paper, but it’s actually a very difficult choice. Lots of people often get it wrong and some even end up losing a finger or two.

Fortunately, an artist from the website Sad and Useless made some pretty handy (and funny) illustrations that showcase the right way to pet animals.

1. Lots of nope places for cats as expected.

2. Dogs are a bit considerate. Of course, they’re good boys.

3. Bunnies are a bit cool as well.

4. Who would’ve thought? Fish are weird, right?

5. Hamsters are a bit enthusiastic don’t you think?

6. Hedgehogs are a bit conflicted (and yes, that’s a Sonic reference right there!)

7. Read the teacup pig’s facial expressions. They’re just too cute though.

8. Your choice, hombre. Hissssss.

9. These are the proper petting spots for the magnificent horse.

10. Unicorns grant wishes, if you find one.

11. Bugs are just a bunch of nope-crawlers.

12. Heck no! A thousand nopes for ya.

13. Bears look cool, but don’t ever dare to pet them. You ever seen The Revenant?

14. Back off! You want to get shredded into pieces? Unless you’re a chick… or a mug of beer.

From here on out, these can finally serve as the internet’s Holy Grail in the lost arts of animal petting. Consider these illustrations as your go-to “Petting Animals for Dummies” guide.