She forgot that her boyfriend crēampiēd her the night before going to her gynecology appointment.
We all have embarrassing stories to tell. We’re only human; we make mistakes almost all the time. But while some of these errors are just tiny and easy to forget, others are pretty scandalous.
Just take this one woman from Reddit, for example. Of all the things that she has to forget, she forgot that her boyfriend crēampiēd her the night before going to her gynecology appointment.
“Before everyone freaks out – yes, I am on birth control. Also, apologies on format because of mobile blah blah.
This happened 30 minutes ago. I’m currently sitting in my car outside my gynecologist’s office typing this.
My boyfriend and I both lead pretty busy lives. He works full time and often works overnight shifts. On the other hand, I’m a full-time student that works 30-35 hours a week. On top of that, I had to put down my beloved fur child last Saturday, so as expected, he hasn’t really been putting his wand in my Chamber of Secrets..if you catch my drift.
After an emotionally draining week, filled with lots tears and interspersed with sēxual frustration, we finally had some time last night to, in Conan O’Brien’s words, ‘take grandma to Applebee’s.’ It’s been a while since we had sēx and my bf is not a fan of hand to gland combat, so unsurprisingly, he had a huge load.. As in, I felt his dīck spasms as he shot ropes of jīzz in me. When I was cleaning myself up after, I noticed just how much was coming out of me and when I told him he laughs it off and says, ‘Haha, yeah, that was a lot.’”
“Anyways, this morning I check my calendar and of course I have a gyno appointment. I’m the type of person that gets really anxious for any type of appointment and while psyching myself out for my handsome and young male gyno to take a peek at my vagooba, I completely forget about last nights sēxscapade.
Fast forward to the appointment, and everything seems normal. I guess my gyno was training a Physician’s Assistant because she was the one that did my pap smear.
For the dudes reading this, a pap smear is when us ladies have to channel our inner Sasha Grey and lay on our backs with our legs spread wide open for our gynecologists’ viewing pleasure. They then stick a speculum in, open up our love canals, and blindly stick a bristle-like swab in to take cultures. Ya know, nothing’s better than having a complete stranger stick random objects up your terrified vag while they try to hold a conversation with you – always a good time.
Anyways, as she sticks the speculum in, her soft virgin eyes look mortified. My experienced gyno just carries on, asking me questions (keep in mind that he was not behind her but was to my left). Midway he stops, walks over to take a quick look, smirks, and goes, ‘Do you finally have a bf?’ (It’s worth noting that he’s a really cool gyno and obviously, I must talk to him about my sēx life every checkup; at this point, I wasn’t sure if he had actually seen the semen inside me or was just making small talk). I awkwardly answer “yes,” and he gives me his spiel about continuing my birth control/being careful.”
The woman added:
The new PA still looks semi-disgusted but has finished and is now pulling out the speculum. That’s the EXACT moment that my soul leaves my body. As she pulls it out to throw in the trash behind her, I see my boyfriend’s freaking baby batter DRIPPING off this thing into the floor. Once the speculum was removed, I proceed to feel a gush of liquid rush out of my pink canoe and pool around my bụtt. Yes, I was still spread eagle, and you can bet that they both saw.
The poor PA looks at my gyno and asks, ‘Did you want me to clean that?’ Referring to what dripped on the floor. Before he could answer, I made a strange ass sound and rushed out, ‘It’s okay, I’ll do it.’”
Before they leave, my gynecologist winks at me and says, ‘Guess your dry spell is finally over!’ We speak casually like friends so I’m not weirded out or anything but so embarrassed.”
The Redditor then wondered if she should stick with her gynecologist or find another one.
“Guys.. I am seriously fcking horrified. What the fck. I’m seriously considering switching gyno’s but mine is so damn good at his job, and we really get along.
Also, not using a throwaway because I have no shame.”
The woman tried to end speculations that her story was just a prank for April Fools’ Day, or she just made it up to get attention by providing some screenshots of her conversation with her boyfriend.
She also asked readers to not “speak badly” about her gynecologist. She explained that she had been a client for a long time and formed a good friendship with the male gynecologist.
Before ending her lengthy post, she once again assured everyone that the embarrassing incident really happened.
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