Parents always find it hard not to help their children. But sometimes, too much of it is not actually helpful. Adults cannot simply live their kids’ lives for them. Rather, they should help their child is growing and gaining their very own experience.
Elite Readers has compiled a list of few things that parents, in one way or another, should stop doing for their children simply because they do more harm than good. If you are a parent yourself, be sure to take them into account!
#1. Talk On Their Behalf
When a kid is asked, “What is your name?” the parents usually answers the question. This is actually wrong. You take away your kids chance to answer for themselves. Let them do it, as such can help build their confidence.
#2. Be Their Friend
Truth is almost every parent in the world tries to be friends with their children. And with such, they try their best for their kids to not have secrets from them. In reality, a friend is someone whom you can talk to as a person in equal terms. Parents, on the other hand, have a different role. Their aim is to love and take care of their kids. Obviously, there is no need to be close to them like a friend. Let your kids experience the thrill of having a friend that is the same age as them.
#3. Wants Vs. Needs
Sometimes, parents’ knowledge between the good and the bad can take its toll. For instance, they know that broccoli is much healthier than candy; hence they would insist that their kids do not eat much. This is good but make sure you do not do it regularly. It is often best for kids to experience their wishes and goals. Otherwise, this can lead to rebellion in the future. Also, it is best to help them understand why such stuff is good and bad for them.
#4. Offering Too Much Help
A 2 or 3-year-old kid is already capable of taking off his/her clothes. Above all, at this age, kids already want to do things on their own. You really do not need to lend them a hand. You can guide them, but offering them help is way different. Let your kids do this kind of stuff as much as possible by themselves.
#5. Choose Their Tastes
Parents are often guilty of forcing things to their kids. For instance, they want their children to like this kind of music or book. Of course, it is with good intentions. No doubt about that. But, ultimately, it diminishes your kids’ individuality. There is even a great chance that he/she will rebel and do the exact opposite.
#6. Count Their Money
It is good to help your kids understand the value of money. However, do not interrogate them just so you can find out how much is left.
At the end of the day, it does not really matter how much is left. Let them save and spend all they want. Again, your move here is to guide them, not force yourself on them
#7. Choose Their Interests and Hobbies
When your kids grow up, they start to develop their own hobbies and interests. Your son might be interested in basketball or other forms of sports. Here, it is not good to go against his idea. Just because you love volleyball does not mean your kid also has to love it. Do not impose your own concept of interests and hobbies. Your kid is a unique individual, too – just like you.
#8. Take Their Success As Yours
Seriously, most parents fail here. Parents often take credit for their kids’ success, whether at home or school. For example, if their kids get to have a high score on exams, their parents often think it is because of them. This thing even becomes more serious when the children grow up. It is totally okay to be happy with your kids’ success – and even failures – but do not take them as your own.
#9. Choose Their Presents
When your kids are already capable of speaking, let them do the talking in terms of choosing a present. Although this rarely happens, letting them decide allows them to understand the importance of choosing and making decisions. Heck, they will eventually learn how to face consequences based on the decisions they make.
#10. Intrude On Their Kids’ Personal Lives
This one here is especially true for parents of teenagers. As mentioned, kids have their own friends. Eventually, when they become teenagers, they will have their own dates, too. It is true that children tend to share personal things with their parents. However, the latter does not have to force the former into doing so. Let your son and/or daughter have their private space. Let them live their lives.