Connect with us

Funny

15 Big-Dick Horror Stories That Will Make You Swear Off Sex Forever

Does size really matter?

When it comes to sex, is bigger really better? Apparently not. While there’s so much hype about well-endowed men, at times, a giant manhood could mean even bigger problems in the bedroom.

Don’t believe us? Just take it from these people who shared their scariest big-dick experiences with BuzzFeed.

1. The case of the missing tampon.

“I was really horny so I drove 45 minutes to my ex’s house to have sex. The next morning I realized I never took out my tampon. His penis was so big that it pushed the tampon up too far, and I couldn’t get it out. After 30 minutes I gave up and called the guy, asking for a favor. I went to his work, locked the door, pulled out some medical gloves and a towel, and spread my legs on his desk so he could pull out the tampon. He fished around for 15 minutes and finally got it out.” —lauront

2. Granny’s priorities are very clear.

“My ex and I were having sex, missionary. I went to shift the angle of my hips at the exact moment he broke rhythm and give me a surprise, extra hard and fast thrust. This completely destroyed my perineum. I lived with my grandma at the time, and I couldn’t get the tear to stop bleeding. We were freaking out, so I went into the living room, holding the bloody towel over my crotch, and asked grandma what to do. She was more concerned that I had stained one of the good hands towels.” —kourtnip

3. Ouch!

“I hooked up with a guy who had the most enormous penis I’d ever seen. Rather than chickening out, I grabbed the lube and attempted to make it fit. I have dyspareunia, a condition that makes sex very painful, and his dick ended up ripping the lower part of my vagina, a la giving birth-style. I had to have an episiotomy, which meant stitches from my vagina to my ass.”—catfuneral

4. What a mess!

“Years ago I met up with a guy in an empty cornfield. His dick was almost nine inches and thick. Neither of us had condoms or lube, so we foolishly just used spit. A few minutes later, he finished and pulled out. That’s when I noticed the bloody, shitty jizz that was dripping off his dick and down my legs. We didn’t bring anything to clean up with, so we used my underwear. He thanked me and took off. I went to Walmart a few blocks away, bought new shorts and underwear, and changed in the restroom. When I got home, my mom complimented me on my new shorts.” —alecsandyr

5. Too. Much. Information.

“I met up with a guy from Grindr, and he had the biggest penis I’d ever seen. He took his dick out of my ass because it was hurting me too much, and he said, ‘Damn, you made a mess.’ I saw what looked like a gallon of beef stew, and the smell soon followed. He started puking all down my back, and it ran into my hair, eyes, his bed, and the floor. His sister knocked on the door to see what was going on. He ran into the bathroom while I, still covered in poop and puke, tried to put on my clothes. It was impossible to leave with any dignity.” —DutchMN

6. That’s one bloody BJ.

“I invited a guy over for a blow job. He whipped it out, and that man was packing what I was craving: thicker than the circumference of my wrist and at least eight inches! I was doing the deed, and he began face-fucking me. He pulled his cock out of my mouth, and it was covered in my blood. He literally destroyed my throat! But I ain’t no bitch.” —h20junkie

7. Straight out of a crime-horror flick.

“I was hooking up with my crush in my car. It was dark outside, so I couldn’t see how HUGE his dong was. He started putting it in, and I swear it felt like he was trying to shove a fist in there. A few minutes later I looked down and saw something on his white shirt. He turned the overhead light on and saw his shirt was covered in blood. There was also a huge, bloody handprint on the back of the driver’s seat. He gasped and ran out of the car and I drove to the nearest gas station and scrubbed the seats like crazy. My vagina was sore for days.” —jngibson0293

8. Somebody need a wheelchair?

“I was a senior in high school, and the popular, hot guy on my bus asked me to his house. As soon as his pants came off, my eyes widened. I asked him how big he was… 12 inches. I was all in though! I gave him a few hours of mind-blowing sex. After it was over, I experienced my first walk of shame through my ENTIRE neighborhood and could literally barely walk. I had to pretend I started my period early because of it, and I bled for almost three days. Totally worth it, though.” —kenziethemom

9. Lockjaw is the worst.

“I occasionally get lockjaw. One time I was giving my boyfriend a blow job – he’s quite big and girthy – and my jaw started to hurt. I thought ‘fuck it’ and kept going, which was a big mistake. It got to the point where I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to get his dick out, so I had to pry my mouth open with my fingers. Whoops.” —shelbeed

10. Scars of the past.

“The first guy I ever gave a blow job to was huge, both in length and in girth. I had braces at the time and was hesitant, but he assured me it would be OK. We took it slowly, but he ended up with two bloody lines down his penis where some inside wires were protruding. To this day, I still wonder if he has the scars.” —d4b4a

11. Jaw-dropping indeed.

“I dislocated my jaw trying to give a blow job once.” —lesliez4b5055b7b

12. An embarrassing trip to the ER.

“I was dating a guy with a very long, very girthy penis. I was too scared to have penetrative sex with him, so we always stuck to oral. One night, I was going down on him and decided I wanted to try to deep-throat. His penis jerked and I got scared and bit him really hard. His dick started bleeding and he got really freaked out and made me bring him to the hospital. Everything turned out fine. The doctor just bandaged it and gave him some antibiotics, but we stopped dating soon after.” —betsyr499

13. Talk about gag reflex.

“My friend was hooking up with a guy who was so big that, while she was blowing him, she literally threw up every drink she had that night on him. It also triggered a chain reaction, and they both spent the rest of the night in the bathroom.” —Sherri Thomas, Facebook

14. Evidence doesn’t lie.

“I was with my crush, and we thought we were home alone. His dick was giant, but I was being a trooper. Just as we were finishing the deed, his dad arrived and started a conversation with my parents in the next room. They called for us to come out, so we scrambled to look presentable and not guilty, only to realize that there was a bloody handprint on his shirt and my face.” —mistakeshavebeenmade

15. We’ll never look at a Pringles can the same way again.

“I went on a few dates with a guy in college. We knew that neither of us liked to bottom, so I proposed a bet of whoever had the bigger penis got to top. I was obviously pretty cocky and sure that I would win. I was speechless when he pulled out a throbbing Pringles can. Never one to back out of a bet, I powered through, and it was incredibly unpleasant. I was late to class the next day because it took me an extra long time to walk up the stairs.” —matthewh4c7ff6ada

245 Comments

  1. Maricris Tria Bravo

    May 5, 2017 at 1:19 AM

    Jannah Marie.. hahaha…

  2. PV Devanadera

    May 5, 2017 at 1:17 AM

    Karen Desembrana AndradaEileen Villanueva MedinaNerissa Miranda Almazar 😂😂😂😂 read it

  3. Genelyn Nohay Elopre

    May 5, 2017 at 1:15 AM

    Performance matters 😵😱😭😨😩😂😇😁😘

  4. Ken Tague

    May 5, 2017 at 1:15 AM

    Whore stories…

  5. Anna Rose Piad Sabalde

    May 5, 2017 at 12:30 AM

    Jettle Sabalde 😂😂

  6. Danica Rosario - Meneses

    March 30, 2018 at 11:55 AM

    Rose Ann Cabe Zarate

  7. Ron Maverick

    May 5, 2017 at 12:04 AM

    Sound like a make up horror story.

  8. Taylar Bertrand

    May 4, 2017 at 11:18 PM

    Jaelynn Alaine Comeaux

  9. Geennaam Love

    March 30, 2018 at 11:55 AM

    Regi FnkeHahah

  10. Kendy Apos Ken

    May 4, 2017 at 10:52 PM

    It’s hard to say…I am speechless.

  11. Ava Harriett Augustus

    May 4, 2017 at 10:52 PM

    size matters if you got no walls (.)

  12. Ayesha Siddiqui

    May 4, 2017 at 10:49 PM

    Mudasser Hussain

  13. Marlee Biddle

    March 8, 2018 at 9:12 AM

    Lol tittle should be “horror stories of loose vaginas” 😂😂😂

  14. Afrah Abdul Razzag

    May 4, 2017 at 10:20 PM

    Ra Sha 😌🔫

  15. Rem Eddie

    March 13, 2018 at 5:49 PM

    So not everyone takes size matter huh…lol

  16. Angie Hill Vaughan

    May 4, 2017 at 10:11 PM

    Robyn Bronk Carmody

  17. Reicha Ishimure

    May 4, 2017 at 10:01 PM

    ikky!lol

  18. James Machin

    May 4, 2017 at 9:53 PM

    Beej Marshall

  19. Johnuel Gatchalian Humangit

    March 5, 2018 at 4:58 PM

    Horror for girls😂😂

  20. Siir Pepito

    March 5, 2018 at 4:58 PM

    Stupid thing!

  21. Siir Pepito

    March 5, 2018 at 4:58 PM

    Stupid thing!

  22. PV Devanadera

    March 30, 2018 at 11:55 AM

    Karen Desembrana AndradaEileen Villanueva MedinaNerissa Miranda Almazar 😂😂😂😂 read it

  23. Ken Tague

    March 5, 2018 at 4:58 PM

    Whore stories…

  24. Ken Tague

    March 5, 2018 at 4:58 PM

    Whore stories…

  25. Mirtha E. Levy

    May 4, 2017 at 8:55 PM

    Wow! Smh! Crazy shit.Lol.😂😂😂

  26. Wee Lee Tan

    May 4, 2017 at 8:50 PM

    Cheryl Alexander Valdis

  27. Mee I'ms

    May 4, 2017 at 8:50 PM

    sir Ronel A. Gambuta hahahahaa does size matter ba daw hahahhahaa

  28. Anna Rose Piad Sabalde

    March 8, 2018 at 10:07 AM

    Jettle Sabalde 😂😂

  29. Jeremiah M JeEx

    May 4, 2017 at 8:25 PM

    Can’t stop laughing!😂😂😂
    Every single story was hilariously told!😂

  30. Ron Maverick

    March 13, 2018 at 6:12 PM

    Sound like a make up horror story.

  31. Rasheed M. Hashi

    May 4, 2017 at 7:52 PM

    It was like some one is trying to shove a fist in there 🍒✊. 😂😂😂

  32. Amber Martines

    May 4, 2017 at 7:22 PM

    Tiffany

  33. Larry Lewis

    May 4, 2017 at 7:21 PM

    Stupid woman!

  34. Taylar Bertrand

    March 30, 2018 at 11:53 AM

    Jaelynn Alaine Comeaux

  35. Rodelio Rosadio

    May 4, 2017 at 6:58 PM

    I think she’s a veteran in bed nyahehe….

  36. Ava Harriett Augustus

    March 8, 2018 at 9:12 AM

    size matters if you got no walls (.)

  37. Ayesha Siddiqui

    March 5, 2018 at 5:02 PM

    Mudasser Hussain

  38. Ayesha Siddiqui

    March 5, 2018 at 5:02 PM

    Mudasser Hussain

  39. Noelle Martinez

    May 4, 2017 at 6:29 PM

    Steven de Guzman may naalala ako hahahaha

  40. Afrah Abdul Razzag

    March 30, 2018 at 11:55 AM

    Ra Sha 😌🔫

  41. Angie Hill Vaughan

    March 5, 2018 at 5:02 PM

    Robyn Bronk Carmody

  42. Arjel Escalona

    May 4, 2017 at 6:07 PM

    i envy them..what a good fuck 😂

  43. Tamlynne Hendricks

    May 4, 2017 at 5:52 PM

    Kinte Van Breda

  44. Sesenio Bacaling Eguia

    May 4, 2017 at 5:48 PM

    Really,size matter.

  45. Godfrey B Njoroge

    May 4, 2017 at 5:45 PM

    Nadine MJ… horror re-defined haha

  46. Sherlyn Jandayan

    May 4, 2017 at 5:41 PM

    😅 they are like horror’s story

  47. Ivan Alexis

    May 4, 2017 at 5:04 PM

    Size queens cant ever have enough!!!

  48. Mee I'ms

    March 5, 2018 at 4:01 PM

    sir Ronel A. Gambuta hahahahaa does size matter ba daw hahahhahaa

  49. Noelle Martinez

    March 8, 2018 at 9:12 AM

    Steven de Guzman may naalala ako hahahaha

  50. Tamlynne Hendricks

    March 8, 2018 at 10:07 AM

    Kinte Van Breda

Funny

Cool Elevators With Designs That Will Make You Stop and Stare

Elevators are boring, you say? You clearly haven’t seen these yet!

Design-wise, elevators are usually plain and boring – unless, of course, creative people are in charge. Case in point, the photos below show us what exactly happens when the iconic elevator is given a makeover, whether it’s a minor or a major one.

Apparently, adding a bit of fun plus some interesting functionality could mean the elevator experience will never be the same again. Ever seen an aquarium elevator? Or one shaped like a pill?

Go scroll down below and see for yourself:

...
Continue Reading

Funny

13 Of The Most Brutally Honest Mother’s Day Cards EVER

These greetings are so savage – especially #2!

Celebrated annualy, Mother’s Day is the perfect time to show appreciation and love for the greatest women in our lives – our mothers. This is the day when they are treated like queens by giving them flowers, treating them to a fancy dinner, and generally letting them enjoy the day (through having a massage or spa, maybe?).

Of course, you can also go old school by sending them Mother’s Day greeting cards. Let’s face it, simple greeting cards are often more effective compared with an SMS or a Facebook message.

If you want to spice up your greetings a bit, you might want to consider the following Mother’s Day cards below. Compiled by Oddee, these greetings are definitely the most brutal and most hilarious at the same time.

...
Continue Reading

Funny

Embarrassing Moment Woman Caught on Cam Picking Nose, Adjusting Bra In Front Of Car Window

This is why you should never fix yourself up in front of a car window.

You know how some people tend to fix themselves up in front of a car window? It can be pretty embarrassing once you realize that someone else is actually inside the car just observing you from the inside. For one woman in Vietnam, this habit has put her in a truly mortifying situation.

The young woman was caught on camera fixing herself up while using a car window as her mirror. In the video, the woman can be seen adjusting her bra and then picking her nose intently.

...
Continue Reading

Trending